4 Things You have to do Before Turning 20
Studies show kids begin retaining explicit memories at the age of 7. That means we have 13 years at our disposal to learn the harsh truths about life, making everlasting memories and quite honestly, do dumb sh*t with no accountability. Yet we, the lazy gen z, wait till our 20’s and 30’s to start building experiences and seek no motivation to groom ourselves for our third decade of life. I am suggesting 4 things you should strive to accomplish before turning 20 based on my experiences that will ensure your teenage years are rewarding, yet very enjoyable.
1. Get a Job
We as college students have complained numerous times about that 1800 word essay that kept us up all night, the math exam that makes us feel like jumping off a bridge after we’re finished, or that bio lab where nothing seems to make sense. We call our parents and friends, b**ching about how intense our workload is and how fricking tired we are of it. The reality is we don't have the slightest clue about what hard work is.
My family recently renovated our house. Our contractor, John, would arrive every morning at 8 am and work up until 7 pm, only taking 1 lunch break. He would finish the day drenched in sweat like a marathon runner and his hands covered with blisters. He wouldn’t complain, wouldn't stop working, and would come every morning knowing that it would be no different than yesterday. This is the definition of hard work for me.
Generation after generation, we seemingly get lazier, while complaining ten times more about how hard life is. Want a flavor of what hard work is? Get a job. Last summer I worked in a townhouse complex, sand grinding the rusted paint of retaining walls. I held up a 15-pound machine in 30 plus degree weather, returning home with my face covered in dust, and my arms sore as a mother f**ker. Truth be told, I dreaded going to work and wanted to quit after 3 days. Looking back at it now, this was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life as I learned about the value of money, the epitome of hard work, and how to navigate expectations.
I don't care if your frying chicken nuggets at the back of McDonald's, stocking toilet paper at your local drug store, or shoveling driveways. Get yourself a job where you will realize the true meaning of hard work, and begin preparing for a lifetime of challenges and tiresome experiences.
2. Go on a trip with your friends
We all think about the possibility of going backpacking around Europe for a year following our graduation from university. We want to do this because why the hell not? Meanwhile, we have our parents back home worrying whether we will buying laced weed on the corner street in Amsterdam, getting in a fight with some drunk bastard at a pub in London, or falling randomly in love with a beautiful girl in Paris. But why wait so long to begin making these memories?
In high school, we begin blossoming into young, mature adults seeking more responsibility for our actions and wanting to exercise more independence. How can we achieve this? Get some friends and plan a trip. I'm not telling you to be like Jack Nickleson and Morgan Freeman in the Bucket List and blow hundreds of thousands of dollars to see the Taj Mahal, go skydiving or race a Shelby Mustang against a Dodge Challenger. But try organizing a budget-friendly trip with your close group of friends.
Last June, me and 7 of my friends pitched in some money, rented a cottage in the middle of f**king nowhere, stacked a van full of coronas and hot dogs, and drove off. These were 3 of the best days of my life. It was the most unobvious experience of the trip that I reminisce on, like us collectively cooking our meals together, sitting on the dock having a cold brew, and trying to clean the house last-minute so we don't lose our security deposit (Even though we did). These were memories for a lifetime for me, and I encourage all of you to try creating similar experiences for yourselves whilst in your teen years,
3. Put your dreams on pause for a bit
Mark Manson in his novel, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, writes “Your passion is right in front of you. If you have to look for it, then you’re not passionate about it at all. Screw finding your passions.” With all due respect, what in the f**king world are you trying to suggest here Mr. Manson? That we sit on our lazy a**es waiting for life to fall into our arms? I am no subject matter expert on passions, but like any rationally minded individual, I know that you find your passions and interests through experience. I didn't know I was passionate about soccer till my dad enrolled me in a team. I did not know I wanted to pursue African studies as my undergrad major until I took an African History course which I thoroughly enjoyed. You have to take the initiative to unfold your passions by embracing curiosity and doing some digging.
Why am I telling you about passions? Well because I believe passions are what lead to dreams. I support Robert M Hesel’s view that “Dreams really do come true when passions awake inside of you.” And passions, my friends, are woken through experience. So stop binging on Netflix in your bed while munching on a bag of Doritos, dreaming of retiring at the age of 40, or owning a Porche 911 coup in the future. Use your teen years to find your passions which you can then act upon to make your dreams come to fruition.
Don’t get me wrong here. I am not telling you to not dream. Quite the contrary in fact. I think dreams are amazing and can motivate us to succeed. But they are meaningless if we don't experience life and find the necessary passions required to make dreams a reality.
4. Actually give a sh*t about succeeding in school
I’ll be honest in saying that I d*cked around for the majority of my high school tenure. I would regularly skip class giving my parents excuses like, “the teacher missed me on the attendance sheet”, or “I had to stay back in my previous class to discuss something with my teacher”. I would sit at the back of the class, shooting the sh*t with my friends, or feeding my phone addiction. To simply put it, I didn’t give a sh*t. Why? Well like a lot of unmotivated, self-consumed teenagers, I believed that grade 12 was the only year where marks were of real importance, and the 11 grades prior were preparing us for absolutely nothing.
I WAS COMPLETLY WRONG
If I had the opportunity to meet my 16-year-old-self, I would give him a good slap in the face and tell him to wake the f*ck up. This shared notion that universities only take grade 12 marks into consideration isn’t necessarily wrong. But it is a destructive ideology, corrupting young minds. We have all heard the phrase, “practice makes perfect.” Well, that same principle goes for your education (no pun intended). If you master the basics of BEDMASS in the early years of math, then intervals will seem easier in your later years of high school. If you learn to write a structured essay at a young age that includes a thesis, main arguments, and conclusion, the lengthy research papers, later on, will be like shooting fish in a barrel. But if you decide to just horse around in school from a young age, I can assure you that once you actually begin giving a sh*t, you will be playing catch up to those students who you used to see as nerds.
Conclusion
How you wish to live your life is subjective. Nor me, nor your parents, nor your friends can tell you how to lead YOUR life. But what I can espouse based on my experience, is that your teenage years are a constant learning curve and some of the most formative years of your life. The decisions you make at this stage will carry a strong influence over the rest of your being. I encourage you to be adventurous, embark on new journies, and make exciting memories. But to make your life fulfilling, you have to harmonize these traits with hard work and responsibility.
